I drank to fill up an emptiness inside that was left in me and everytime I drank I said something to you I regret and I fucked things up and I’ll never forgive myself and you hated me for drinking, you said id lost myself and that you couldn’t recognize me anymore, but what can I do. Everytime I fill that void of emptiness up it hits full capacity and spills over and I end up as a bundled mess of tears everytime I do. But it’s because I’m hurt and it’s because I can’t take back what I’ve done and the choices I’ve made, and I hate that I’m the person I am and that I’m too much for a lot of people and it frightens me and saddens me and it don’t know how to handle it all.
I just wanna make people happy but it’s never really just that easy is it. Once people get used to you cheering them up and helping them and giving them a laugh when they need it, they begin to rely and depend on you for it and as much as I’m glad to be helping out, it can be too much at times but I can’t push them away but I also can’t keep balancing mine and everyone else’s problems because I can only hold so much
Thanks you much love xx
Have you ever seen brown eyes in the sun? You don’t always notice it at first but you’ll see that ‘brown’ no longer describes them. They melt into golden rays, circling an eclipse. There’s nothing boring about brown eyes, not even when the later hours encroach; they just turn into a sunset of their own.
I never liked my brown eyes but this is so beautiful and it changed everything